I still haven't taken any pictures. There really hasn't been much time to come home, get my camera, then go out again...plus I hate looking like a tourist. But, in the meantime, here's a bit of what my life here is like.
It's musical. As I type, there's a group of teenagers walking down the road singing a really bad hip hop sing-along as if it were an irish bar song. Along those lines, people act in public as if it were the privacy of their own home. I used to just think that people who talk to themselves on the street are crazy...not so much. Here, you get the sense that the street is their home, although sometimes it does feel like a competition to see who can be the craziest. Since home is boring, there are no yards to be private in, and you can never get a moment alone, you might as well talk to yourself. It's kind of like the sidewalk or the subway is your living room.
Black people don't talk on their cellphones here the way they do in CA - the talk directly into the mic then hold the phone about a foot from your ear maneuver. Just an observation, no conjectures as to why.
I rarely see my roommates and that's kinda wierd; I always saw jon and mike. Although there are only three guys in our apartment, ours in the "home base." The guys/gals on level two and three all all really good friends with my roommates so they always come down to our place because of the TV and cable. I like that. But, no one ever wants to go out during the weeknight because they all work so late. I've been putting in nine hour day's but I start at 9:30 or 10 so it's not as intense as their 6 or 7 start time (that means they have to leave earlier). Hopefully this weekend some of them will be around to go places.
Work is pretty fun. I do menial shit. Mainly I've been put in charge of putting together the boxes and route packets for the various bus route leaders that will begin their journey's to McAllen, TX in a week or so. After a few days of bitch work they realized that I'm not an idiot so I have a few other things to do now. That's kinda nice. Unlike the construction work I do, I can't just see what I have to do and be on my own for a while...well, I do, but when my boss is giving me a task I have to anticipate later problems and ask for the solutions, so I disturb him as little as possible later. It's pretty intense right now with all the last minute problems being taken care of, which to me equals fun. Everyone in the office is really fun - that's it for that aspect.
Tonight after work i went to a place that has half price drinks every weeknight from 4-8. It also had an outdoor patio which is weird in my neck of the woods...ya know, 'cause you'll get shot. This place is on the Upper Westside. There is about a five block strip of Amsterdam that has a shitload of cool bars. I had a couple of drinks on the patio and just got to sit and watch people be weird. There was this old man who walked so slow (because of ailments, not like the crazy pink guy in santa cruz) that he was having significant conversations with people as he walked past the sidewalk seating. I also noticed a lot of Jewish folks - redundant I guess because, after all, it's New York. One super Jewish guy got caught by his wife as he was looking down the shirt of a hot Latina while walking by her table. That was awesome.
Hey! Do you know what the difference between a jewish baby and a normal white baby is?... The jewish baby is obviously jewish - that's not really a joke - they have jewish noses as infants.
Other than that I haven't explored much of NYC. Went to try to see David Sidaris (sp?) last night in Union Square, but it was a packed house. This weekend, if I'm not busy working I'll get to do touristy shit.
I feel that I am naturally an introvert, but this place makes me realize how moderately introverted I am. I find myself going to this particular coffee shop that's really close to my house on the way to and from work, only because the girls who work there are really nice and talk to me. It's not that GIRLS are talking to me, but that ANYONE is talking to me. I sit in there and just absorb the niceness.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Sunday, June 01, 2008
New York - day One
I arrived in New York City today. So far, it's a pretty cool place. A little intimidating, but cool. Across the street is a pit bull locked behind a gate. I went outside earlier to go for a walk and saw this lady rubbing her ass in the dogs face. Suddenly she decided that she wanted to piss on the dog. Down went the pants and out came the pee.
I'll have pictures of the area when I get comfortable enough to take them.
I went to the Frederick Douglass in Southeast DC a few months ago and realized that I was the only white person. At the risk of sounding like a racist, that's a little scary. It's not the black people, it's the fact that when any one ethnicity (other than white folks) are concentrated in one area it tends to be a poor, crime prone area. Harlem isn't that bad, but it's pretty damn close.
There's a difference between nice/urban and nice/suburban. A row of shops that we would consider trash in Scotts Valley are welcome signs of economic prosperity here.
I'll have pictures of the area when I get comfortable enough to take them.
I went to the Frederick Douglass in Southeast DC a few months ago and realized that I was the only white person. At the risk of sounding like a racist, that's a little scary. It's not the black people, it's the fact that when any one ethnicity (other than white folks) are concentrated in one area it tends to be a poor, crime prone area. Harlem isn't that bad, but it's pretty damn close.
There's a difference between nice/urban and nice/suburban. A row of shops that we would consider trash in Scotts Valley are welcome signs of economic prosperity here.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Fighting fire with wind...and crickets
I took a bunch of stuff to my dad's house this week. It was the longest that I've stayed in my hometown in a few years...I was there for three long days!
I show up to my dad's house on Wednesday and immediately got in a fight...with a fire. The wind was blowing like crazy. It was pretty fun. i haven't done something like that in a while. I the process all of the mice and squirrels and gophers that were running from the fire were going toward my dad's house and we all started stepping on them. it was kinda fucked up but kinda fun too. It was like that game at Chuckee Cheeses where you knock the gophers on the head with the bat.
I went to an old friends house...he's an older guy. He was having a little bible study which was pretty painful to sit through but the guys were funny. One of the guys just let 10,000 crickets into his school as a senior prank. At one point i mentioned this softball team we used to play with called the Pink Pounders. The kids started laughing because they didn't think we got the joke. Then, the guy that had been on the team was talking about how they would get drunk and balls would hit them in the head. It's true, I saw it once, but the guys couldn't stop laughing about the pink pounders and balls hitting foreheads. In that way it was an entertaining bible study.
Other than that I just did my best to make my fundi family realize how absurd their beliefs are. It's fun for me...not a fight anyone can win but it's still fun.
Hmmm...balls on head, pink pounders, crickets, gopher stomp, fire fighting, fundi fighting...over all the best time I've spent in my hometown since i've moved away, well, sober at least.
I show up to my dad's house on Wednesday and immediately got in a fight...with a fire. The wind was blowing like crazy. It was pretty fun. i haven't done something like that in a while. I the process all of the mice and squirrels and gophers that were running from the fire were going toward my dad's house and we all started stepping on them. it was kinda fucked up but kinda fun too. It was like that game at Chuckee Cheeses where you knock the gophers on the head with the bat.
I went to an old friends house...he's an older guy. He was having a little bible study which was pretty painful to sit through but the guys were funny. One of the guys just let 10,000 crickets into his school as a senior prank. At one point i mentioned this softball team we used to play with called the Pink Pounders. The kids started laughing because they didn't think we got the joke. Then, the guy that had been on the team was talking about how they would get drunk and balls would hit them in the head. It's true, I saw it once, but the guys couldn't stop laughing about the pink pounders and balls hitting foreheads. In that way it was an entertaining bible study.
Other than that I just did my best to make my fundi family realize how absurd their beliefs are. It's fun for me...not a fight anyone can win but it's still fun.
Hmmm...balls on head, pink pounders, crickets, gopher stomp, fire fighting, fundi fighting...over all the best time I've spent in my hometown since i've moved away, well, sober at least.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
To be or not to be: what a gay ass question
So, I'm in this mood right now. Kind of a nostalgic thing. It's because I packed up most of my belongings into my car to take to my dad's house to store for the next year...since I wont be needing them. I guess I don't really need them anyway, considering I never use them...but books and things, you can't let those go.
Ok, that was a tangent.
There are things that I wish I could be, but am not. I wish I were a red head. I heard once that by 2050 there will be no fully redheaded people -- I'm talking genetically. I'm attracted to red-head chics, so it would be great to meet up with one and carry on the genes if I were a red head too.
I also wish I was black. Now, I don't try to act like a stereotypical black person. I don't listen to gansta rap either. But, I'm a pretty smart guy and I think it would be cool to be a smart black guy that makes something of himself. To break the mold. That's not to say that there aren't successful black men, in fact there are tons, but they aren't the majority or even the common perception of what black men are.
Being a woman would be pretty cool too. Well, with the exception of the warewolf effect that goes in cycles with the moon...or however that menstruation stuff works. Mostly though, for the same reason as I'd like to be a black dude. I'd break the "glass ceiling" and all that fun stuff -- but not like Hilary Clinton, I'd do it like a gentleman would.
There is the rare occasion that I wish I were a cancer patient. Only on my conditions though. I would go to the hospital and they would say that I only have a few months to live. I'd go do some things, break some bones, do a shit load of blow, and all kinds of other stuff. But, when I was finally too weak to be out of bed I would be laying in a hospital. President Bush would grant my last wish of meeting him...probably because of some guilt that he feels about killing all those boys and girls in Iraq. I'd pretend that I was too weak to talk loudly but that I had something really important to say. He'd lean in. Then, without warning I'd slap the shit out of him. Not only would that be awesome, but it would be cool to see a bunch of Secret Service agents beat up a bed ridden, cancer patient.
It's kind of a bummer being a normal white dude. I mean, sure there's the whole 'greater ability to succeed' thing. But, everything is pretty much handed to you. I didn't grow up in a wealthy family, barely even middle class. But, I go places and have done some crazy shit...but I'm just a white guy so who really cares.
If only I could be a red headed, black hermaphodite who gets diagnosed with terminal cancer -- oh how glorious it would be!
Ok, that was a tangent.
There are things that I wish I could be, but am not. I wish I were a red head. I heard once that by 2050 there will be no fully redheaded people -- I'm talking genetically. I'm attracted to red-head chics, so it would be great to meet up with one and carry on the genes if I were a red head too.
I also wish I was black. Now, I don't try to act like a stereotypical black person. I don't listen to gansta rap either. But, I'm a pretty smart guy and I think it would be cool to be a smart black guy that makes something of himself. To break the mold. That's not to say that there aren't successful black men, in fact there are tons, but they aren't the majority or even the common perception of what black men are.
Being a woman would be pretty cool too. Well, with the exception of the warewolf effect that goes in cycles with the moon...or however that menstruation stuff works. Mostly though, for the same reason as I'd like to be a black dude. I'd break the "glass ceiling" and all that fun stuff -- but not like Hilary Clinton, I'd do it like a gentleman would.
There is the rare occasion that I wish I were a cancer patient. Only on my conditions though. I would go to the hospital and they would say that I only have a few months to live. I'd go do some things, break some bones, do a shit load of blow, and all kinds of other stuff. But, when I was finally too weak to be out of bed I would be laying in a hospital. President Bush would grant my last wish of meeting him...probably because of some guilt that he feels about killing all those boys and girls in Iraq. I'd pretend that I was too weak to talk loudly but that I had something really important to say. He'd lean in. Then, without warning I'd slap the shit out of him. Not only would that be awesome, but it would be cool to see a bunch of Secret Service agents beat up a bed ridden, cancer patient.
It's kind of a bummer being a normal white dude. I mean, sure there's the whole 'greater ability to succeed' thing. But, everything is pretty much handed to you. I didn't grow up in a wealthy family, barely even middle class. But, I go places and have done some crazy shit...but I'm just a white guy so who really cares.
If only I could be a red headed, black hermaphodite who gets diagnosed with terminal cancer -- oh how glorious it would be!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
A Song - Oooh how artsy!
You're gonna sink wearing that heart of gold
You're holding fast son you better let it go
The weight of guilt son's gonna drag you down
You better let it go else you're gonna drown
A heavy cross'll make a brighter crown
You carried the burden now just set it down
The weight of guilt and a tired soul
Too great a weight to carry on your own
If you can bear no cross you can wear no crown
By Ben Nichols
Lucero
You're holding fast son you better let it go
The weight of guilt son's gonna drag you down
You better let it go else you're gonna drown
A heavy cross'll make a brighter crown
You carried the burden now just set it down
The weight of guilt and a tired soul
Too great a weight to carry on your own
If you can bear no cross you can wear no crown
By Ben Nichols
Lucero
Friday, May 02, 2008
Aaaahhhhhh!
When I moved back to Santa Cruz in 2003 I started volunteering for Young Life. I also worked with the middle school ministry -- WyldLife. In 2004 I took over as the coordinator for WyldLife because the girl who was on staff left. In May of 2006 I went on staff. Last night, 1 May 2008, was my last club. I still have some office stuff to finish up in order to earn my monthly wage, but other than that I'm done!
It's one of the best feelings ever!!! Before I started with Young Life I was a volunteer leader for a church youth group in my home town. To sum it up, my entire adult life has been spent working with middle school kids in the realm of Christian ministry. So, my excitement about leaving staff and no longer even working with Young Life doesn't come without some apprehension. It's not that I'll miss the work but that I have apparently reached some big milestone.
I've never been too excited about preaching to kids but for some reason it was important to me for these kids to have some decent role model in their life. Not that I'm necessarily a great person, but I'm not their parents, I'm not their friends, I'm not their teacher, and I'm not a drug addict. I am something that falls in between all of those. I'm the guy that a kid can actually talk to and act normal around because there is no need to impress me, keep me happy, or stay out of trouble.
Over the years I decided that that aspect was more important than anything. And I still think that.
There is two aspects that I want to write about in reference to why I'm so happy about leaving: the Christian part and the "burn out" part.
CHRISTIAN: The short version of the section below is this: It's not that I don't believe in God anymore, it's just that I don't really give a FUCK!
When I first started working with YL I was attracted to the way they did the gospel thing. Later I would realize that this was a local thing as opposed to a YL in general thing. Then, YL was just about hanging out at Club (the weekly youth group aspect) and bowling or whatever other activities we would invite the kids along for. In a way, our goal was to just make the kids part of our life...like friends. From a Jesus standpoint I liked it because I thought that their way of talking about sin was different with the typical church -- i hated the church and I still do. What I mean by "the church" is the popular view of most Christians have about the relationship of God and Jesus and the people of the world...and then how the rules, traditions, and images that we must maintain fall into all of that bullshit.
When I went to camp with a group of kids the first time I learned that I hate alter calls. What I saw was the lemming effect: one kid (who may or may not have had a genuine God experience) proclaim that they found the Lord. Then another, then another, another, and so on and on. At some point you get the feeling that it's just an image thing...and the trap of Christianity begins.
A year or so later I decided that the formerly "progressive" (or so it seemed to me when I first bought into it) explanation of sin, as a separation from God and not necessarily the badness that we do, was complete shit. I have another explanation for sin and what I think a healthy relationship with God might look like...but I've posted about that before so I wont waste time here.
I also began to have a hard time figuring out how Christianity can make a damn bit of difference when a kid has been abused, is on drugs, is poor, can't read, has a bad home life in general, or any other shit that the kids have to deal with. On top of this, I couldn't understand why, when kids have to deal with so much, we would want to put all this pressure of living up to some institutionalized Christian standard.
But, I stuck with it for a long time because I still felt that it was important to be part of the lives of the kids and this was a great way to do it.
Eventually I completely changed the way we present the gospel to our middle school kids. Within a year or two so did a group in North Carolina, which led YL to issue THE NON-NEGOTIABLES OF YOUNG LIFE. This was a set way that the Gospel had to be presented - no ifs, ands, or buts about it! Before that I was on the verge of considering going off staff but that set it in stone.
There is no way that I'm going to work for an organization who claims the name of Christ as its leader and then does that kind of shit. Unfortunately there is no one way to understand the bible. If there was we'd be much better off. But YL was determined to make sure that people learned stuff their way. Their way of interpreting the gospel I find to have the potential of being harmful to anyone who isn't smart enough or jaded enough to think through shit for their self.
BURN OUT: The short version of this section, and it sounds a little bit boastful or something like that, is that I care too much and I don't want to do it for a while.
I've learned things about kids that nobody else knows about them. I've seen sides of kids that they never let anyone else see. They always have to put on some kind of front for their parents or their friends or whomever. The more I got to know kids, the more helpless and worthless I felt. What could I do?!? The kid that can't read, I can help. The most I could do for a kid whose home life is completely screwed up but not illegal, is be there for him to vent to -- yes that's important, but it's hard to know that's all you can do. According to YL I could also offer him God's love...how precious!
I have piercings, I don't dress like a square. When people look at me they probably don't think "oh, I would love for my kid to hang out with that guy." But, I'm a pretty nice guy...and I'm not a moron. Of course this following statement isn't always true, I think it's faily accurate: because of the fact that I'm not very refined, when people learn that I'm okay, they really like me. It's like they expect one thing and when they get another they are so excited that I'm one of the greatest people ever.
That leads in to this. I have got to know a ton of people. Some very well, others just kind of well. This is both parents and kids. I've observed things in families that a teacher, pastor, coach, or family friend don't get to observe. It's wierd! The more people I got to know and the more kids that got to know me, and I them, the more of their shit I had to deal with. My biggest character flaw is that I care too much for other people and not nearly enough for myself. I live with other people's pain. I think about it when I go to bed...it keeps me up.
I tried really hard to encourage my leaders to hang out with kids. Not everyone is cut out for it. But, when a kid couldn't get ahold of a leader they wanted to hang out with they'd call me. I generally have a lot of time to kill so I would hang out. Then I'd learn about them. I'd get to know their folks. And the same story continues.
Eventually you start to shut down. You can't stand to get to know more kids so you don't do much anymore. The kids who you wish you didn't know because they aren't the kind of person you generally like to hang out with are the next to go. Before you know it, the kids and families who you know the best and spend a lot of time with begin to get to you. You shut them out. What your left with is sitting at home. Wishing you could drink yourself into oblivion. But you still have to hang out because it's your job. Now, you're faking it. You realize that you're not being as sociable as you used to be so you force yourself to act like you used to.
Try to live that...it's gets old fast. It's not that I don't care anymore. I still lose sleep over other peoples' problems. I still meet new people and love every minute of it. But I'm tired.
.........................................
Basically, the story is this. What was once a turning point in my life became a thorn in my side. Because I don't care about the Christianity thing and don't find much importance for it, I want to distance myself from it. I don't want that to be the foundation for my relationship with the people I know and care about. It's as simple as this: I know the people I live around and they know me; they're fucked up and I'm fucked up -- and sometimes that's fine; we don't need to fix each other and we don't need to tell each other how to live; we just need to be there for each other with no strings attached. If not just because I know so many people, I will always work with kids in some way. I'll always care for people too much. But at least I won't be bound by the rules and expectations of a morally debased organization.
It's awesome!!!
The only thing I want to make sure of is that I don't simply react. That my relationships with people don't become based on the fact that I used to by tied down by YL and I now am not. I want to make sure that I am just Rob without YL...nothing more. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone who will read this, but it makes sense to me.
It's one of the best feelings ever!!! Before I started with Young Life I was a volunteer leader for a church youth group in my home town. To sum it up, my entire adult life has been spent working with middle school kids in the realm of Christian ministry. So, my excitement about leaving staff and no longer even working with Young Life doesn't come without some apprehension. It's not that I'll miss the work but that I have apparently reached some big milestone.
I've never been too excited about preaching to kids but for some reason it was important to me for these kids to have some decent role model in their life. Not that I'm necessarily a great person, but I'm not their parents, I'm not their friends, I'm not their teacher, and I'm not a drug addict. I am something that falls in between all of those. I'm the guy that a kid can actually talk to and act normal around because there is no need to impress me, keep me happy, or stay out of trouble.
Over the years I decided that that aspect was more important than anything. And I still think that.
There is two aspects that I want to write about in reference to why I'm so happy about leaving: the Christian part and the "burn out" part.
CHRISTIAN: The short version of the section below is this: It's not that I don't believe in God anymore, it's just that I don't really give a FUCK!
When I first started working with YL I was attracted to the way they did the gospel thing. Later I would realize that this was a local thing as opposed to a YL in general thing. Then, YL was just about hanging out at Club (the weekly youth group aspect) and bowling or whatever other activities we would invite the kids along for. In a way, our goal was to just make the kids part of our life...like friends. From a Jesus standpoint I liked it because I thought that their way of talking about sin was different with the typical church -- i hated the church and I still do. What I mean by "the church" is the popular view of most Christians have about the relationship of God and Jesus and the people of the world...and then how the rules, traditions, and images that we must maintain fall into all of that bullshit.
When I went to camp with a group of kids the first time I learned that I hate alter calls. What I saw was the lemming effect: one kid (who may or may not have had a genuine God experience) proclaim that they found the Lord. Then another, then another, another, and so on and on. At some point you get the feeling that it's just an image thing...and the trap of Christianity begins.
A year or so later I decided that the formerly "progressive" (or so it seemed to me when I first bought into it) explanation of sin, as a separation from God and not necessarily the badness that we do, was complete shit. I have another explanation for sin and what I think a healthy relationship with God might look like...but I've posted about that before so I wont waste time here.
I also began to have a hard time figuring out how Christianity can make a damn bit of difference when a kid has been abused, is on drugs, is poor, can't read, has a bad home life in general, or any other shit that the kids have to deal with. On top of this, I couldn't understand why, when kids have to deal with so much, we would want to put all this pressure of living up to some institutionalized Christian standard.
But, I stuck with it for a long time because I still felt that it was important to be part of the lives of the kids and this was a great way to do it.
Eventually I completely changed the way we present the gospel to our middle school kids. Within a year or two so did a group in North Carolina, which led YL to issue THE NON-NEGOTIABLES OF YOUNG LIFE. This was a set way that the Gospel had to be presented - no ifs, ands, or buts about it! Before that I was on the verge of considering going off staff but that set it in stone.
There is no way that I'm going to work for an organization who claims the name of Christ as its leader and then does that kind of shit. Unfortunately there is no one way to understand the bible. If there was we'd be much better off. But YL was determined to make sure that people learned stuff their way. Their way of interpreting the gospel I find to have the potential of being harmful to anyone who isn't smart enough or jaded enough to think through shit for their self.
BURN OUT: The short version of this section, and it sounds a little bit boastful or something like that, is that I care too much and I don't want to do it for a while.
I've learned things about kids that nobody else knows about them. I've seen sides of kids that they never let anyone else see. They always have to put on some kind of front for their parents or their friends or whomever. The more I got to know kids, the more helpless and worthless I felt. What could I do?!? The kid that can't read, I can help. The most I could do for a kid whose home life is completely screwed up but not illegal, is be there for him to vent to -- yes that's important, but it's hard to know that's all you can do. According to YL I could also offer him God's love...how precious!
I have piercings, I don't dress like a square. When people look at me they probably don't think "oh, I would love for my kid to hang out with that guy." But, I'm a pretty nice guy...and I'm not a moron. Of course this following statement isn't always true, I think it's faily accurate: because of the fact that I'm not very refined, when people learn that I'm okay, they really like me. It's like they expect one thing and when they get another they are so excited that I'm one of the greatest people ever.
That leads in to this. I have got to know a ton of people. Some very well, others just kind of well. This is both parents and kids. I've observed things in families that a teacher, pastor, coach, or family friend don't get to observe. It's wierd! The more people I got to know and the more kids that got to know me, and I them, the more of their shit I had to deal with. My biggest character flaw is that I care too much for other people and not nearly enough for myself. I live with other people's pain. I think about it when I go to bed...it keeps me up.
I tried really hard to encourage my leaders to hang out with kids. Not everyone is cut out for it. But, when a kid couldn't get ahold of a leader they wanted to hang out with they'd call me. I generally have a lot of time to kill so I would hang out. Then I'd learn about them. I'd get to know their folks. And the same story continues.
Eventually you start to shut down. You can't stand to get to know more kids so you don't do much anymore. The kids who you wish you didn't know because they aren't the kind of person you generally like to hang out with are the next to go. Before you know it, the kids and families who you know the best and spend a lot of time with begin to get to you. You shut them out. What your left with is sitting at home. Wishing you could drink yourself into oblivion. But you still have to hang out because it's your job. Now, you're faking it. You realize that you're not being as sociable as you used to be so you force yourself to act like you used to.
Try to live that...it's gets old fast. It's not that I don't care anymore. I still lose sleep over other peoples' problems. I still meet new people and love every minute of it. But I'm tired.
.........................................
Basically, the story is this. What was once a turning point in my life became a thorn in my side. Because I don't care about the Christianity thing and don't find much importance for it, I want to distance myself from it. I don't want that to be the foundation for my relationship with the people I know and care about. It's as simple as this: I know the people I live around and they know me; they're fucked up and I'm fucked up -- and sometimes that's fine; we don't need to fix each other and we don't need to tell each other how to live; we just need to be there for each other with no strings attached. If not just because I know so many people, I will always work with kids in some way. I'll always care for people too much. But at least I won't be bound by the rules and expectations of a morally debased organization.
It's awesome!!!
The only thing I want to make sure of is that I don't simply react. That my relationships with people don't become based on the fact that I used to by tied down by YL and I now am not. I want to make sure that I am just Rob without YL...nothing more. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone who will read this, but it makes sense to me.
Friday, March 07, 2008
How do you feed the poor?
Do you give the poor fish, or teach them how to fish? Let's say it's going to be a government sponsored program. The taxpayers will say that you teach him how to fish so that he can provide for himself so he doesn't become dependant on our tax dollars. With this new skill though, he may find that he is an incredible fisherman and get all the fish so that there aren't enough for everyone. Then, if teaching people to fish ends up not working because of lack of resources, there must be a system to make sure that everyone has enough. It's liberty versus equality. If everyone is free to do what they want then not everyone will have an equal opportunity to provide for themselves. If you make sure that everyone has the proper resources to provide for themselves then you limit the liberty of people to do as they wish.
If we're talking about larger social problems like unemployment, lack of skills, and so on, where do you start? I would say with education, so you can give everyone a fairly equal start to then do what they can with their abilities. They can proceed into college, into a trade school, or choose to get into a job that requires little or no real training...like fast food. In my state, we're facing an across-the-board budget cut, which means that programs that are guaranteed a specific percentage of the budget, like education, will lose a ton of money. In my town we're looking at losing almost 1,000,000 dollars each year which translates to upwards of 30 teaching positions. This turns into a larger teacher/student classroom ratio. With kids who speak a first language other than english, this is going to mean less attention thus less success. For kids whose first language is english, this has several consequences; they range from less extra-curricular activites, to potential resentment of the ESL kids if they put this all together. If test scores become lower as a result of California's budget cuts there will be less federal funding. It's a downward spiral.
The only reason I write this is to get it out of my head. I just had a conversation with a guy and I took it to the point of questioning a bond measure that is going to raise money to build a new middle school - considering the financial state that our district is going to be I think this bond measure is a bad idea. I'm trying to develop a good argument against the bond measure so I can have a conherent conversation with people as to why I think it's a bad idea. And, that's why you just read this. Haha...thanks for wasting your time!
If we're talking about larger social problems like unemployment, lack of skills, and so on, where do you start? I would say with education, so you can give everyone a fairly equal start to then do what they can with their abilities. They can proceed into college, into a trade school, or choose to get into a job that requires little or no real training...like fast food. In my state, we're facing an across-the-board budget cut, which means that programs that are guaranteed a specific percentage of the budget, like education, will lose a ton of money. In my town we're looking at losing almost 1,000,000 dollars each year which translates to upwards of 30 teaching positions. This turns into a larger teacher/student classroom ratio. With kids who speak a first language other than english, this is going to mean less attention thus less success. For kids whose first language is english, this has several consequences; they range from less extra-curricular activites, to potential resentment of the ESL kids if they put this all together. If test scores become lower as a result of California's budget cuts there will be less federal funding. It's a downward spiral.
The only reason I write this is to get it out of my head. I just had a conversation with a guy and I took it to the point of questioning a bond measure that is going to raise money to build a new middle school - considering the financial state that our district is going to be I think this bond measure is a bad idea. I'm trying to develop a good argument against the bond measure so I can have a conherent conversation with people as to why I think it's a bad idea. And, that's why you just read this. Haha...thanks for wasting your time!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thoughts on the world and politics
I've recently been wrapped up in developing an opinion about the conflict in Darfur. Of course on the face of things it seems like it is an aweful mess and should be stopped by force immediately. Well, that's not so simple, of course. As part of my learning of this issue, I've learned about another crisis that is going on in Africa. Sure, there is Kenya and Cameroon and all the civil unrest for political reasons in many countries, but I'm talking about the Congo. In the last decade, since 1997 (1) 5,000,000 people have died. That's holocaust scale death. So, I found it funny this morning when reading through the NY Times that there was a story about the Congo when there normally isn't. It was about how the logging industry might be endangering sea turtles. SEA TURTLES! ...FIVE MILLION PEOPLE! One of those is a more important issue...I'll let you guess which one.
Your current president is an amazing man. He criticized Barak Obama for wanting to develope relationships with the leaders of 'enemy states,' like Raul Castro. First, it's amazing that he could think that way when he encouraged Abbas and Olmert to have monthly meetings and their favorite pastime is blowing eachother's people up. If guys like that can find it in them to get together, I'm sure the leaders of our country can find it beneficial to talk with Castro. Not to mention, the policy in Cuba of not talking with their leader has obviously failed for the last 40 years.
(1) This is the year following the genocide in Rwanda. That whole thing was a convoluted cluster-fuck but part of what made that Congo thing erupt. Rwandi Tutsi began chasing Hutus who had fled to the Congo and it stirred up a whole mess of issues.
Your current president is an amazing man. He criticized Barak Obama for wanting to develope relationships with the leaders of 'enemy states,' like Raul Castro. First, it's amazing that he could think that way when he encouraged Abbas and Olmert to have monthly meetings and their favorite pastime is blowing eachother's people up. If guys like that can find it in them to get together, I'm sure the leaders of our country can find it beneficial to talk with Castro. Not to mention, the policy in Cuba of not talking with their leader has obviously failed for the last 40 years.
(1) This is the year following the genocide in Rwanda. That whole thing was a convoluted cluster-fuck but part of what made that Congo thing erupt. Rwandi Tutsi began chasing Hutus who had fled to the Congo and it stirred up a whole mess of issues.
Monday, February 25, 2008
War games?
Something on NPR today got me thinking. A while ago China tested and anti-satelite missle. The other day the Bush administration announced that it had successfully shot down a failed military satelite. I'm not sure if we had already tested any anti-satelite missles yet. If not, was the case to shoot down this satelite last week just a way to make sure that we had the same capabilities as China? With that, is it possible that the whole "failed satelite" with dangerous liquids thing was just a front to be able to test this technology? I'm not into conspiracy stuff but this seems like something fun to look in to.
So, go reasearch this for me and figure it out.
So, go reasearch this for me and figure it out.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Marxism and Christianity
---I didn't take the time to edit this for sequence, so ignore the fact that it may seem to wander---
A number of years ago I started re-evaluating my religious standing. Whether or not I believe in a god and so on. Eventually I stopped believing then came back around to it. Through this, however, I decided some things about what Jesus, God, and their other pal want the world (and their presence in it via their followers) to be like - nothing like it is now or really has ever been since...I guess only a few years after Dr. J had left the earth.
Reconciling this with my work, youth ministry, is not an easy thing to do. As ill informed as my thoughts may be, I do believe that they are accurate but no modern Christian wants to hear what I have to say because it turns everything around. So, I'm in the season now where I introduce Jesus to the kids. Last semester I introduced God. I didn't grant any credibility to the OT (creation story) being really true, but that was something to be understood in it.
Basically how I set it up was that God created us and had 3 things in mind. 1) Love 2) Community - he realized that one person wasn't enough so put another and said "Multiply". 3) Trust - when he set us loose in the 'garden' he pretty much said "everything here is yours...GO NUTS!" This comes into play as an atribute of God that we should emulate but have chosen not to.
The caveat was then that there was this tree. When we ate from that we basically took matters into our own hands. Instead of trusting him, we decided that we now know what is best, and would rely on our own judgement.
I made that point with a story (though admitedly not the intent of the parable) about a dad who asked one son to work in the field. The son said Ok but didn't work. Dad went to the other son and said go work and the son said no but later changed his mind. My point was that we get to make decisions and sometimes they end up good but sometimes they don't. Essentially, we create the reality that is around us by the things that we do.
So I come to the point of my talk tonight. I thought through that last point: Do we do things that create our reality or do the things that happen to us and things that surround us create our reality. Of course this is a neverending debate but I feel pretty secure in thinking that the former option is more true.
When I was thinking about this, I realized that it is basically Marx's idea of "mode of production", that the things that people do are what makes a society work, not that the society working (via trade, property rights, etc.) makes the people because ultimately we get to choose whether or not we partakein such things. This is definately oversimplified by the point stands.
Tonight I focused on the idea that what other people say don't matter - in terms of Jesus, people had a lot of different names for him but he really only chose two to describe himself as - so say the scriptures: Son of God and Son of Man. I wont get into why I think that is important here, but it is.
Next talk I'm going to talk about what Jesus did and how that effected the world around him.
Eventually I get to sin. What does sin look like here? We have effectively chosen to be our own God. By taking on the understanding the difference between good and evil we have set ourselves up to be the judges of the world around us. Sin, then, is the fact that we have taken our assumed responsibility and completely messed the world up. That the decisions we make as individuals translates into billions of people making similarly bad decisions and we have the world we have now. What we lack is knowing what truth looks like, so our judgement does us no good, only bad. Because by our nature we act as our own God thus choose our own truth and that truth is different for everyone so there is conflict. I don't buy into the typical Young Life (the organization I work for) notion that sin is a separation from God. Since God is supposed to be everywhere, he has given his gift to all people, and he apparently is involved in our everyday activites I don't see how this traditional approach to sin as an incurable separation really holds any weight.
So, this leads to Jesus how? Because he was sent to us as the Son of God (in the sense of "like father like son") in emulation of God, and the Son of Man (an instance in the human species - much like saying I am Ben Huffman's son and so is my brother and my other brother, so I am only a bit of my fathers collective SON), to show us a better way to use our "judgement", our knowledge of good and evil. By also emulating God and remembering that part of that is to trust - I guess, to trust He who actually knows how to use this distinction between good and evil properly.
It then comes back to us to make that decision to use his example wisely. And I think, this is how I will describe salvation. For example, in Matthew 19:28 (I think...it's in there somewhere) Jesus says that basically those who do what God wants will have a seat in Heaven next to the father. The arguement against this is that there is the part in the NT where it says that the wages of sin is death. I say to that, that the OT says that if you eat from the tree you will surely die. Obviously A and E didn't physically die, so it must be a spiritual death of some kind. From that I can assume that perhaps Paul is talking about a different death than physical too. Maybe even a different one of heaven versus hell. The death that Adam and Eve experienced was here on earth right? Being banished from the garden and having to deal with the consequences of trying to be their own gods. That is a death here on earth. I suppose that comes in the form of being unhappy, of the remorse over physical deaths, of going day to day without food, of experiencing loss, and so on.
As I type there are a thousand different things that pop in to my head as to why this approach also would not be attractive to kids. But that's not what it's really about for me. The truth is, I'm not scared for the kids' or anyones afterlife, so why do I really need to be concerned with whether or not they accept the gospel as I present it. What matters is that I present it the best way that I understand it to really be.
Some would say that I'm afraid of talking about sin because I don't want to hurt the kids' feelings. Though one who would make that claim would not believe me here, that's not an issue at all. It's that I truly don't think it's right. My thoughts and strategy here are much softer than traditional depictions of sin, but I don't think they are wrong. And I don't think that the traditional Sin is even an effective way to understanding what sin is...especially for these kids who don't have any grasp on the concept of consquences. It may seem at first glance that my approach is not dealing with those consequences that I speak of, those consequences that the kids don't understand. But on a closer look we see that we are presented with choices, those choices en masse create our shitty world, if we love God and trust God then we will do what is prescribed for us to do, otherwise our world will still be a shithole...granted, in the larger scheme of things it will still be a shithole, but in our more immediate surroundings we have the ability to create a "better world" so to speak, to create a better truth for our daily lives and those we encounter.
But I'm mandated by Young Life to present sin and other such religious abstractions in a very particular way. As the powers-that-be state, they are the Non-negotiables of Young Life. What this means, I do not really care.
For anyone who may read this, feel free to present me with counter arguements because it will help me work this out. Or even feedback on how to make it better. At this point I'm pretty set in this thought process. I'm really more concerned with how to present my talks in a way that the kids will actually care to listen, so that they can hear a different approach to the God that they may have grown up with.
A number of years ago I started re-evaluating my religious standing. Whether or not I believe in a god and so on. Eventually I stopped believing then came back around to it. Through this, however, I decided some things about what Jesus, God, and their other pal want the world (and their presence in it via their followers) to be like - nothing like it is now or really has ever been since...I guess only a few years after Dr. J had left the earth.
Reconciling this with my work, youth ministry, is not an easy thing to do. As ill informed as my thoughts may be, I do believe that they are accurate but no modern Christian wants to hear what I have to say because it turns everything around. So, I'm in the season now where I introduce Jesus to the kids. Last semester I introduced God. I didn't grant any credibility to the OT (creation story) being really true, but that was something to be understood in it.
Basically how I set it up was that God created us and had 3 things in mind. 1) Love 2) Community - he realized that one person wasn't enough so put another and said "Multiply". 3) Trust - when he set us loose in the 'garden' he pretty much said "everything here is yours...GO NUTS!" This comes into play as an atribute of God that we should emulate but have chosen not to.
The caveat was then that there was this tree. When we ate from that we basically took matters into our own hands. Instead of trusting him, we decided that we now know what is best, and would rely on our own judgement.
I made that point with a story (though admitedly not the intent of the parable) about a dad who asked one son to work in the field. The son said Ok but didn't work. Dad went to the other son and said go work and the son said no but later changed his mind. My point was that we get to make decisions and sometimes they end up good but sometimes they don't. Essentially, we create the reality that is around us by the things that we do.
So I come to the point of my talk tonight. I thought through that last point: Do we do things that create our reality or do the things that happen to us and things that surround us create our reality. Of course this is a neverending debate but I feel pretty secure in thinking that the former option is more true.
When I was thinking about this, I realized that it is basically Marx's idea of "mode of production", that the things that people do are what makes a society work, not that the society working (via trade, property rights, etc.) makes the people because ultimately we get to choose whether or not we partakein such things. This is definately oversimplified by the point stands.
Tonight I focused on the idea that what other people say don't matter - in terms of Jesus, people had a lot of different names for him but he really only chose two to describe himself as - so say the scriptures: Son of God and Son of Man. I wont get into why I think that is important here, but it is.
Next talk I'm going to talk about what Jesus did and how that effected the world around him.
Eventually I get to sin. What does sin look like here? We have effectively chosen to be our own God. By taking on the understanding the difference between good and evil we have set ourselves up to be the judges of the world around us. Sin, then, is the fact that we have taken our assumed responsibility and completely messed the world up. That the decisions we make as individuals translates into billions of people making similarly bad decisions and we have the world we have now. What we lack is knowing what truth looks like, so our judgement does us no good, only bad. Because by our nature we act as our own God thus choose our own truth and that truth is different for everyone so there is conflict. I don't buy into the typical Young Life (the organization I work for) notion that sin is a separation from God. Since God is supposed to be everywhere, he has given his gift to all people, and he apparently is involved in our everyday activites I don't see how this traditional approach to sin as an incurable separation really holds any weight.
So, this leads to Jesus how? Because he was sent to us as the Son of God (in the sense of "like father like son") in emulation of God, and the Son of Man (an instance in the human species - much like saying I am Ben Huffman's son and so is my brother and my other brother, so I am only a bit of my fathers collective SON), to show us a better way to use our "judgement", our knowledge of good and evil. By also emulating God and remembering that part of that is to trust - I guess, to trust He who actually knows how to use this distinction between good and evil properly.
It then comes back to us to make that decision to use his example wisely. And I think, this is how I will describe salvation. For example, in Matthew 19:28 (I think...it's in there somewhere) Jesus says that basically those who do what God wants will have a seat in Heaven next to the father. The arguement against this is that there is the part in the NT where it says that the wages of sin is death. I say to that, that the OT says that if you eat from the tree you will surely die. Obviously A and E didn't physically die, so it must be a spiritual death of some kind. From that I can assume that perhaps Paul is talking about a different death than physical too. Maybe even a different one of heaven versus hell. The death that Adam and Eve experienced was here on earth right? Being banished from the garden and having to deal with the consequences of trying to be their own gods. That is a death here on earth. I suppose that comes in the form of being unhappy, of the remorse over physical deaths, of going day to day without food, of experiencing loss, and so on.
As I type there are a thousand different things that pop in to my head as to why this approach also would not be attractive to kids. But that's not what it's really about for me. The truth is, I'm not scared for the kids' or anyones afterlife, so why do I really need to be concerned with whether or not they accept the gospel as I present it. What matters is that I present it the best way that I understand it to really be.
Some would say that I'm afraid of talking about sin because I don't want to hurt the kids' feelings. Though one who would make that claim would not believe me here, that's not an issue at all. It's that I truly don't think it's right. My thoughts and strategy here are much softer than traditional depictions of sin, but I don't think they are wrong. And I don't think that the traditional Sin is even an effective way to understanding what sin is...especially for these kids who don't have any grasp on the concept of consquences. It may seem at first glance that my approach is not dealing with those consequences that I speak of, those consequences that the kids don't understand. But on a closer look we see that we are presented with choices, those choices en masse create our shitty world, if we love God and trust God then we will do what is prescribed for us to do, otherwise our world will still be a shithole...granted, in the larger scheme of things it will still be a shithole, but in our more immediate surroundings we have the ability to create a "better world" so to speak, to create a better truth for our daily lives and those we encounter.
But I'm mandated by Young Life to present sin and other such religious abstractions in a very particular way. As the powers-that-be state, they are the Non-negotiables of Young Life. What this means, I do not really care.
For anyone who may read this, feel free to present me with counter arguements because it will help me work this out. Or even feedback on how to make it better. At this point I'm pretty set in this thought process. I'm really more concerned with how to present my talks in a way that the kids will actually care to listen, so that they can hear a different approach to the God that they may have grown up with.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
No Anti-lent this year! It's the real thing!!
So, this year I'm actually aware of lent in time to remember to do it. I didn't grow up observing lent but it seems like fun to quit doing something that I do more than necessary just to see if I can. So this year, complaining. For the next 46 days (counting the Sundays) I will not complain. So I'm getting it all out here so I can look back and remember what it is that I miss so much.
I hate people on the bus who talk on their cell phones. Most people that have the lack of courtesy that drives them to talk on their cell phone in a confined public space are the type of people that only have one or two functionaing brain cells - people that shouldn't breed. Like this lady that spends every Tuesday and Thursday on the ride home talking to two or three different people about here medical conditions. The one she tells her sob story and he hangs up on her. The other, she tells about how the other guy hung up and then gives that same guy the same sob story with the exact same vigor. The third person, she tells that she needs a ride from the bus stop because, well, she has a medical condition and it involves...what?... the same shit that she just got done telling the other two guys.
My women's US history professor spends the first half of class talking about her in-laws and parents. Where they live, their past, what kind of herbs they grow (not even kidding), and what their migratory habits are in their retirement years. Now, I like hearing about women and a whole different view on history, but she is missing alot of things in her analysis of the role of women and why they have always been viewed the way they have. Apparently it's open-minded to think that way, but thinking only that way and ignoring all of the other important stuff doesn't seem to be very open-minded.
People who turn left on roads without a turn lane drive me crazy - especially during rush hour! Go to a light, make a U turn, and save us all some time so that we don't have to wait behind you while the world revolves around you! On the subject of driving, why can people not look around and see driveways where cars are trying to get in and out of (from a left turn lane) when they are sitting at a stop light. Look around and observe that you might want to leave some room for poeple to get through.
Cubans! I want to go on the same trip that I went on last year to Cuba, but the people that Pastors for Peace is working with in Cuba cannot figure out the exact dates and what theme they want for the trip. Meanwhile, I'm deciding when I'm going to be able to go on my summer skate trip/camp that all of the high school guys I work with are looking forward to, and I can't plan my trip to Greece. Work more than 6 hours for once and maybe you'll get it figured out...seriously Cuban friends...I love your culture and country and sense of solidarity, but make a damn decision!
The Scotts Valley post office. their hours are 9-4:30. Times when people are at work or in my case school. How am I supposed to buy stamps when you guys are never open?! I have a non-profit to keep afloat. I need stamps but I have to go to class too.
In the afternoons at school, the bus that I need only runs every 2 hours. So, if I get out of class late or have to take care of some quick business I'm stuck at school for another 2 hours. This wouldn't be so bad if maybe I went to a school where there were real people. I cannot even begin to describe the people that I go to a university with, but they are completely retarded! Words like HELLA! "So I was at this party the other day, hella drunk, and mike comes up with his pants hella saggin, and he hella was wasted, and hella said, 'hey do you wanna get some hella good food with me?' And I was like O-M-G i'm hella down aaaeeeight!" Maybe that's why people are more than happy to spend an ass load of money on private schools, because the people that can afford that have at least somewhat high self-esteem and aren't inbreed.
And on the subject of breeding. My roommates and I should be the only people on earth who get to decided who gets to breed and who gets to drive.
Girls - If you think I'm cute (which I assume all girls do, especially hot ones), then talk to me. See, we live in a world where women want more of a role in this patriarichal world. While this is happening, men, like myself, are becoming more and more pansie (if I can use that word as a verb). This is mainly directed toward this hot girl in one of my history classes.
Back to driving, my roommate reminded me of people that drive in the rain with their headlights off. In CA it's a law that if your windsheild wipers are on then your lights have to be also. Why? Safety. So i hear someone talking on local radio one day about how she's never had trouble seeing people like this. I was on my way to work the other day and it was raining. There was a lady behind me who had her headlights off. She had her blinker on because she was about to make a left turn on a road with no turn lane. I had to stop suddenly...so did she. And then there was a noise. She got rearended. I understand that her having her headlights off had nothing to do with that, but I just thought that was a fun story to tell. Mainly because it was a very slight bump. Her stupid high school daughter had this look on her face like her entire world came crashing down around her because her eyeliner was about to run and she was gonna have to get out in the rain and her hair would get frizzy. It made me laugh and I went on to work.
And just when i thought I was out... I'm in a political thought class. As you may know, these classes are magnets for egos. This particular class has about 7 people who were always trying to prove how smart they were in classes I shared with them last semester. And of course, they make it a point to make sure that the professor knows how much they know. In reality they know nothing. I'm not saying I do...my mind doesn't think like that...not good for political theory. But what I do know is that Machiavelli is wrong, Hobbes is wrong, Paine is wrong, Rouseeau is wrong, and so on. There is no such thing as a perfect political theory. some parts of theories are right and most parts are wrong. But my point was that these guys only speak because they want other people to think they are smart. Now, I personally think I am pretty smart...in some ways. But I realize that I look like a complete jackass when I try to one-up people in class, so I refrain. Plus, we all want to get out of class earlier and the less you talk the shorter class may be.
I think I'll end with this... Christians. When we study various societies in history we come to understand that religion has been a tool of the elite. Like political theorists, they are part correct and mostly not. But especially when Christians do the kinds of things that the church today sees as important, they are undermining what God and his little buddy Jesus actually wanted. It is my belief that the Christian church is itself subverting the gospel of Jesus, which one would think would be the most important thing to them, for their own worldly gain.
I'm done. Have a good lent as I'm sure I will. I wonder if all of this lack of complaining is going to actually change the chemistry in my brain and I will forever be an optimist after this season of lent. Maybe it will be like a godly prozac.
I hate people on the bus who talk on their cell phones. Most people that have the lack of courtesy that drives them to talk on their cell phone in a confined public space are the type of people that only have one or two functionaing brain cells - people that shouldn't breed. Like this lady that spends every Tuesday and Thursday on the ride home talking to two or three different people about here medical conditions. The one she tells her sob story and he hangs up on her. The other, she tells about how the other guy hung up and then gives that same guy the same sob story with the exact same vigor. The third person, she tells that she needs a ride from the bus stop because, well, she has a medical condition and it involves...what?... the same shit that she just got done telling the other two guys.
My women's US history professor spends the first half of class talking about her in-laws and parents. Where they live, their past, what kind of herbs they grow (not even kidding), and what their migratory habits are in their retirement years. Now, I like hearing about women and a whole different view on history, but she is missing alot of things in her analysis of the role of women and why they have always been viewed the way they have. Apparently it's open-minded to think that way, but thinking only that way and ignoring all of the other important stuff doesn't seem to be very open-minded.
People who turn left on roads without a turn lane drive me crazy - especially during rush hour! Go to a light, make a U turn, and save us all some time so that we don't have to wait behind you while the world revolves around you! On the subject of driving, why can people not look around and see driveways where cars are trying to get in and out of (from a left turn lane) when they are sitting at a stop light. Look around and observe that you might want to leave some room for poeple to get through.
Cubans! I want to go on the same trip that I went on last year to Cuba, but the people that Pastors for Peace is working with in Cuba cannot figure out the exact dates and what theme they want for the trip. Meanwhile, I'm deciding when I'm going to be able to go on my summer skate trip/camp that all of the high school guys I work with are looking forward to, and I can't plan my trip to Greece. Work more than 6 hours for once and maybe you'll get it figured out...seriously Cuban friends...I love your culture and country and sense of solidarity, but make a damn decision!
The Scotts Valley post office. their hours are 9-4:30. Times when people are at work or in my case school. How am I supposed to buy stamps when you guys are never open?! I have a non-profit to keep afloat. I need stamps but I have to go to class too.
In the afternoons at school, the bus that I need only runs every 2 hours. So, if I get out of class late or have to take care of some quick business I'm stuck at school for another 2 hours. This wouldn't be so bad if maybe I went to a school where there were real people. I cannot even begin to describe the people that I go to a university with, but they are completely retarded! Words like HELLA! "So I was at this party the other day, hella drunk, and mike comes up with his pants hella saggin, and he hella was wasted, and hella said, 'hey do you wanna get some hella good food with me?' And I was like O-M-G i'm hella down aaaeeeight!" Maybe that's why people are more than happy to spend an ass load of money on private schools, because the people that can afford that have at least somewhat high self-esteem and aren't inbreed.
And on the subject of breeding. My roommates and I should be the only people on earth who get to decided who gets to breed and who gets to drive.
Girls - If you think I'm cute (which I assume all girls do, especially hot ones), then talk to me. See, we live in a world where women want more of a role in this patriarichal world. While this is happening, men, like myself, are becoming more and more pansie (if I can use that word as a verb). This is mainly directed toward this hot girl in one of my history classes.
Back to driving, my roommate reminded me of people that drive in the rain with their headlights off. In CA it's a law that if your windsheild wipers are on then your lights have to be also. Why? Safety. So i hear someone talking on local radio one day about how she's never had trouble seeing people like this. I was on my way to work the other day and it was raining. There was a lady behind me who had her headlights off. She had her blinker on because she was about to make a left turn on a road with no turn lane. I had to stop suddenly...so did she. And then there was a noise. She got rearended. I understand that her having her headlights off had nothing to do with that, but I just thought that was a fun story to tell. Mainly because it was a very slight bump. Her stupid high school daughter had this look on her face like her entire world came crashing down around her because her eyeliner was about to run and she was gonna have to get out in the rain and her hair would get frizzy. It made me laugh and I went on to work.
And just when i thought I was out... I'm in a political thought class. As you may know, these classes are magnets for egos. This particular class has about 7 people who were always trying to prove how smart they were in classes I shared with them last semester. And of course, they make it a point to make sure that the professor knows how much they know. In reality they know nothing. I'm not saying I do...my mind doesn't think like that...not good for political theory. But what I do know is that Machiavelli is wrong, Hobbes is wrong, Paine is wrong, Rouseeau is wrong, and so on. There is no such thing as a perfect political theory. some parts of theories are right and most parts are wrong. But my point was that these guys only speak because they want other people to think they are smart. Now, I personally think I am pretty smart...in some ways. But I realize that I look like a complete jackass when I try to one-up people in class, so I refrain. Plus, we all want to get out of class earlier and the less you talk the shorter class may be.
I think I'll end with this... Christians. When we study various societies in history we come to understand that religion has been a tool of the elite. Like political theorists, they are part correct and mostly not. But especially when Christians do the kinds of things that the church today sees as important, they are undermining what God and his little buddy Jesus actually wanted. It is my belief that the Christian church is itself subverting the gospel of Jesus, which one would think would be the most important thing to them, for their own worldly gain.
I'm done. Have a good lent as I'm sure I will. I wonder if all of this lack of complaining is going to actually change the chemistry in my brain and I will forever be an optimist after this season of lent. Maybe it will be like a godly prozac.
Friday, November 30, 2007
ranting is good
I’m currently reading A Legacy of Ashes by Tom Weiner. He is talking about the history of the CIA in a novel like format – similar to how Bob Woodward write his books. In reading I was observing that the CIA, especially in its early years, would pay lots of money for “intelligence” that almost always turned out to be false. Based on that information the Director of Intelligence (and sometimes the President) would approve operations that ended up in a bunch of American CIA operatives getting killed. What was happening was that the Director was getting a bunch of wrong information and jumping to conclusions.
I was watching the news today about Hilary Clinton’s office in Rochester, NH getting held up by a guy with a bomb. First, the guy was a well-known local who had a history of mental problems. There were also a bunch of hostages. Then, there only three hostages and the all got out. Then there was one hostage left and the bomb guy was some kid’s step dad who has been drunk for 72 hours. Through the whole thing there would be three different news faces telling three different things that didn’t end up being the truth at all. That’s a very brief description of how the facts of the thing developed, but while I was watching it and noticing these changes I realized that the conclusions I had been led to only 10 minutes before were not right at all. Fortunately this was an example where the crisis was resolved in only a few hours. But when things go on and on for days or months, how much can we really believe what the news tells us. Well, we all know that we can’t really. But this is what we get and that’s fucked up.
MEDICARE – The political right uses the high cost of Medicare to explain why national healthcare is a bad idea. Government run stuff is inefficient. Lots of the pricing for Medicare benefits were based on 1980s market prices – so we still pay that much. Then, the issue is spun to make it look like people opposed to it are trying to “cut Medicare spending” so Democrats stay away from it, republicans alike. But at the same time the Republicans are the ones who want to cut costs. It is estimated that because of this pricing the government overpays for about 80 percent of Medicare recipients stuff. So the problem is not necessarily that government run Medicare is inefficient in its operation, but that it is priced so that it is inflated and looks like an inefficient program. It’s actually all really confusing and I didn’t to its complexity justice at all. But the point is that you should not believe a damn thing you hear. NOTHING!!
I was watching the news today about Hilary Clinton’s office in Rochester, NH getting held up by a guy with a bomb. First, the guy was a well-known local who had a history of mental problems. There were also a bunch of hostages. Then, there only three hostages and the all got out. Then there was one hostage left and the bomb guy was some kid’s step dad who has been drunk for 72 hours. Through the whole thing there would be three different news faces telling three different things that didn’t end up being the truth at all. That’s a very brief description of how the facts of the thing developed, but while I was watching it and noticing these changes I realized that the conclusions I had been led to only 10 minutes before were not right at all. Fortunately this was an example where the crisis was resolved in only a few hours. But when things go on and on for days or months, how much can we really believe what the news tells us. Well, we all know that we can’t really. But this is what we get and that’s fucked up.
MEDICARE – The political right uses the high cost of Medicare to explain why national healthcare is a bad idea. Government run stuff is inefficient. Lots of the pricing for Medicare benefits were based on 1980s market prices – so we still pay that much. Then, the issue is spun to make it look like people opposed to it are trying to “cut Medicare spending” so Democrats stay away from it, republicans alike. But at the same time the Republicans are the ones who want to cut costs. It is estimated that because of this pricing the government overpays for about 80 percent of Medicare recipients stuff. So the problem is not necessarily that government run Medicare is inefficient in its operation, but that it is priced so that it is inflated and looks like an inefficient program. It’s actually all really confusing and I didn’t to its complexity justice at all. But the point is that you should not believe a damn thing you hear. NOTHING!!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
the gospel
Joshua sat with his friends outside of the church on a day like any other. Enough clouds dotted the sky to block the sun every now and then. The wind seemed colder than normal this time of year but had a refreshing scent to it. They had been through a lot recently. To relax like this was a nice break from the previous weeks. There were unanswered questions and a lot of concern about what their future would be. By now, Joshua knew that his time with his friends would soon come to an end. There are some things that you just do not say to anyone, indiscriminately. But enough was enough, and each of the men felt that he would be denying what was truly important if he did not take extraordinary measures in order to do what he knew was right.
The church they had been going to recently used to be a place where all were welcome. It became a place that they would go just to hang out. They could always find a good conversation, whether between themselves or with strangers. Joshua saw men coming in to give their offering. They would kneel, light a candle, say a prayer, kiss their coins, and drop them in the box. A homeless lady, who had developed a reputation of being beyond help, came in to do what these men were doing. She simply walked up to the offering box and dropped her coins.
Joshua pointed out to his friends what a show these men make about giving when they know full well that they have plenty to spare. This woman, however, was giving all she had. She may have been expecting to get something out of it, some magical gift from above that would get her through the rest of the month, but in reality she had just given up. She saw no need to hold on to these things if she had nothing to look forward to. The church does good things for the community, why not give back – that was her thinking.
Joshua began to rant. “I don’t know why they think this building is so important. You know that some day this will be nothing but a pile of rocks. I bet God would want it that way too. Do you really think that the money these men give means anything other than supporting the maintenance of a place they can go to show how holy they are?”
His friends had been with him for long enough to know that Joshua was God. They clung to every word he spoke, and just like the mysterious god they grew up knowing, they assumed that everything he said had some hidden meaning to it. They began to ask him when the church would no longer be important.
“You’ll see. There will be signs.” He listed several things that would happen upon the irrelevance of the church, things that would be sure to point to the fact that the church as they knew it was already meaningless. “You know what I have taught you is just and good. You know that this world looks on the things we believe and views them as blasphemy because they contradict the institutions that have become acceptable to these evil men. And I will add to that, that because of what you know to be truth, you will be hated; because of me you will suffer.”
The church they had been going to recently used to be a place where all were welcome. It became a place that they would go just to hang out. They could always find a good conversation, whether between themselves or with strangers. Joshua saw men coming in to give their offering. They would kneel, light a candle, say a prayer, kiss their coins, and drop them in the box. A homeless lady, who had developed a reputation of being beyond help, came in to do what these men were doing. She simply walked up to the offering box and dropped her coins.
Joshua pointed out to his friends what a show these men make about giving when they know full well that they have plenty to spare. This woman, however, was giving all she had. She may have been expecting to get something out of it, some magical gift from above that would get her through the rest of the month, but in reality she had just given up. She saw no need to hold on to these things if she had nothing to look forward to. The church does good things for the community, why not give back – that was her thinking.
Joshua began to rant. “I don’t know why they think this building is so important. You know that some day this will be nothing but a pile of rocks. I bet God would want it that way too. Do you really think that the money these men give means anything other than supporting the maintenance of a place they can go to show how holy they are?”
His friends had been with him for long enough to know that Joshua was God. They clung to every word he spoke, and just like the mysterious god they grew up knowing, they assumed that everything he said had some hidden meaning to it. They began to ask him when the church would no longer be important.
“You’ll see. There will be signs.” He listed several things that would happen upon the irrelevance of the church, things that would be sure to point to the fact that the church as they knew it was already meaningless. “You know what I have taught you is just and good. You know that this world looks on the things we believe and views them as blasphemy because they contradict the institutions that have become acceptable to these evil men. And I will add to that, that because of what you know to be truth, you will be hated; because of me you will suffer.”
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
my funny town
I serve this town called Scotts Valley. Unfortunately I don't live in the town because it's too expensive. I live in a small town down the road from it. But I feel a wierd sort of "calling" to be part of the town. It could be that I've just been part of it for so long and gotten to know so many families that I can't help but be part of it, but then there's this part of me that loves the town. I know that's kind of wierd, and it's hard to explain...it's just how it is.
Anyways. Over a year ago I started hanging out with a couple of Latino kids. They live in this particular apartment complex. As I started meeting other poor minorities in the community I noticed that they all lived in the same place. Unfortunately I rarely run into those kids anymore.
I was talking to a kid from the skatepark the other day that is a mexican kid. I asked if he lived in this same apartment complex. He does. Then I asked if he knows how I knew that he lives there. He guessed it..."because I'm mexican?" EXACTLY!! We had a good laugh about it. But now I'm trying to figure out if this is some sort of injustice (like segregation through low income housing measures) or if it's good that they can afford housing around this area.
This town is a place with lots of hurt. Parents who have no time for their kids or didn't even want their kids in the first place so don't know what to do with them, along with the fact that it's an affluent area so everyone buys into the magazine culture...girls - I should try to achieve this impossible image... boys - so...why is it wrong to objectify women?
To top it off, there's a whole section of the community that's tucked away in a little corner and forgotten about. Did I mention that they conveniently located this apartment complex right next to the police station?
Anyways. Over a year ago I started hanging out with a couple of Latino kids. They live in this particular apartment complex. As I started meeting other poor minorities in the community I noticed that they all lived in the same place. Unfortunately I rarely run into those kids anymore.
I was talking to a kid from the skatepark the other day that is a mexican kid. I asked if he lived in this same apartment complex. He does. Then I asked if he knows how I knew that he lives there. He guessed it..."because I'm mexican?" EXACTLY!! We had a good laugh about it. But now I'm trying to figure out if this is some sort of injustice (like segregation through low income housing measures) or if it's good that they can afford housing around this area.
This town is a place with lots of hurt. Parents who have no time for their kids or didn't even want their kids in the first place so don't know what to do with them, along with the fact that it's an affluent area so everyone buys into the magazine culture...girls - I should try to achieve this impossible image... boys - so...why is it wrong to objectify women?
To top it off, there's a whole section of the community that's tucked away in a little corner and forgotten about. Did I mention that they conveniently located this apartment complex right next to the police station?
Thursday, October 04, 2007
A reflection on ministry...advice welcome
Tonight we had our first WyldLife Club. As you may know, this is the ministry I work with. Basically, we hang out with middle school kids. It's pretty fun.
I was at this place this last week where the only thing I knew to do was literally get on my knees and pray. I'm the type of person that has a tendency to worry about other people than myself. I don't mean that in a toot-my-own-horn sort of way but as a curse. My situation in life is such that I get to spend lots of time observing these kids in a way that most people don't get to see. For their teachers they are always trying to not get in trouble. For their parents, they are always trying to be who their parents want them to be. For their friends, they are trying to be something that they aren't. With me, in the various ways that I hang out with them, I get to see all of these different aspects, then see what's really going on with them. I don't know why, but kids (and adults sometimes) let me see sides to them that most other people probably don't get to see.
I call it a curse because I can't help but to take the weight of their problems and think about it and lament about it. It wears me out sometimes.
One of my favorite things is to provide an atmosphere where kids can get away from all that bull shit and just be kids. Care-free, happy, relaxed, and loved. Tonight was a good night in that way.
We're only having 'club' once a month, so we are making program pretty intense. The leaders did a great job at keeping things going and interesting so that the kids could just sit back and enjoy. I was excited about that. It was awesome to see them take control and do the best they could.
The most important thing in all of this for me is relationships - with God as the center. Though the kids don't necessarily know that God is in on these relationships.
At the end of each night we give a talk. This year, since we only have nine clubs I'm going to give all of the talks. Another reason is that I'm developing (with the help of my pastor) a new way of presenting the Gospel than the traditional 'look at Jesus. He did cool things...crazy things. You should like Jesus. Now, you are a sinner. You ruined your relationship with God. For that you are supposed to die. Well, remember that Jesus guys? He built a bridge in the form of a cross so that you can hang out with God again.'
Though it may be true, I think it's fucked that that's how we let kids know the story of God and his pursuit of us. It misses a bunch of stuff. It shows them something they should be ashamed of...it doesn't give them something that they might want to be a part of. Whether they know/feel it or not, kids are alienated and only live in the sins of their parents and our society. The last thing they need is to be ashamed of one more thing. They need to belong in a world where they don't currently belong.
I started tonight with creation. in a nutshell, I dismissed the importance of the 7 day creation and other shit we're taught and focused on why the story was told in the first place. One thing I focused on was that his first commandmen, as such, was "take it all!" NOT "don't eat from that tree". I also made sure that I communicated was that God put us here so that we could be his little helpers on earth. So that we could be in community with him. And that when we were created he said that we are VERY GOOD, not just good like everything else...VERY GOOD. Why? Because we are the keystone. He has entrusted us with the rest of his creation...to take it all freely and enjoy it. With that, I focused on "freely". The idea that we have absolute freedom to do what we want.
Next week I'm going to reiterate all of that a bit and focus a little more on the fun stuff. This week was basically "what life is supposed to be like". Next week is that, but with a little bit of "what life really is."
If you have any pointers they are appreciated. I want to try to find some themes like love, trust, community, and so on to tie back into the story later in the year. Any suggestions?
I was at this place this last week where the only thing I knew to do was literally get on my knees and pray. I'm the type of person that has a tendency to worry about other people than myself. I don't mean that in a toot-my-own-horn sort of way but as a curse. My situation in life is such that I get to spend lots of time observing these kids in a way that most people don't get to see. For their teachers they are always trying to not get in trouble. For their parents, they are always trying to be who their parents want them to be. For their friends, they are trying to be something that they aren't. With me, in the various ways that I hang out with them, I get to see all of these different aspects, then see what's really going on with them. I don't know why, but kids (and adults sometimes) let me see sides to them that most other people probably don't get to see.
I call it a curse because I can't help but to take the weight of their problems and think about it and lament about it. It wears me out sometimes.
One of my favorite things is to provide an atmosphere where kids can get away from all that bull shit and just be kids. Care-free, happy, relaxed, and loved. Tonight was a good night in that way.
We're only having 'club' once a month, so we are making program pretty intense. The leaders did a great job at keeping things going and interesting so that the kids could just sit back and enjoy. I was excited about that. It was awesome to see them take control and do the best they could.
The most important thing in all of this for me is relationships - with God as the center. Though the kids don't necessarily know that God is in on these relationships.
At the end of each night we give a talk. This year, since we only have nine clubs I'm going to give all of the talks. Another reason is that I'm developing (with the help of my pastor) a new way of presenting the Gospel than the traditional 'look at Jesus. He did cool things...crazy things. You should like Jesus. Now, you are a sinner. You ruined your relationship with God. For that you are supposed to die. Well, remember that Jesus guys? He built a bridge in the form of a cross so that you can hang out with God again.'
Though it may be true, I think it's fucked that that's how we let kids know the story of God and his pursuit of us. It misses a bunch of stuff. It shows them something they should be ashamed of...it doesn't give them something that they might want to be a part of. Whether they know/feel it or not, kids are alienated and only live in the sins of their parents and our society. The last thing they need is to be ashamed of one more thing. They need to belong in a world where they don't currently belong.
I started tonight with creation. in a nutshell, I dismissed the importance of the 7 day creation and other shit we're taught and focused on why the story was told in the first place. One thing I focused on was that his first commandmen, as such, was "take it all!" NOT "don't eat from that tree". I also made sure that I communicated was that God put us here so that we could be his little helpers on earth. So that we could be in community with him. And that when we were created he said that we are VERY GOOD, not just good like everything else...VERY GOOD. Why? Because we are the keystone. He has entrusted us with the rest of his creation...to take it all freely and enjoy it. With that, I focused on "freely". The idea that we have absolute freedom to do what we want.
Next week I'm going to reiterate all of that a bit and focus a little more on the fun stuff. This week was basically "what life is supposed to be like". Next week is that, but with a little bit of "what life really is."
If you have any pointers they are appreciated. I want to try to find some themes like love, trust, community, and so on to tie back into the story later in the year. Any suggestions?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Rob Attack!
So, I just read in the paper that Santa Cruz County has a Superior Court judge named Robert Atack. I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that it's pronounced 'uh-tack'. Like, "I was walking in the forest and got attacked by killer bees with ninja swords and fire."
Two things about this. First, that's a pretty intimidating name for a judge to have.
Second, that's a pretty kick ass name for ANYONE to have!
If that were my name, I'd take full advantage of all benefits that go along with it.
Two things about this. First, that's a pretty intimidating name for a judge to have.
Second, that's a pretty kick ass name for ANYONE to have!
If that were my name, I'd take full advantage of all benefits that go along with it.
Monday, September 10, 2007
If I had a million dollars...
I asked one of my roommates the other day if he thought, that if I were to fly a plane from Las Vegas to Reno but got lost somewhere along the way, a search effort would begin, then after a few days the officials would say that they were going to expand the search for nearly two weeks. This obviously was in response to Steve Fosset's rescue effort. My assumption was that the only reason anyone gives a rip is because he's rich. Apparently there have been numerous planes that haven't made that trip but only now are being dicovered. "Teams have discovered nearly one uncharted wreck a day since the intensive search began" -AP. So, in looking back on my question... no, they wouldn't spend an ass load of money on a search effort to find me. I could make a point here if I wanted to, but I'll let this one go.
Friday, August 17, 2007
In the cards
I'm going to make a prediction and see how it turns out. I've had a lot of time on my hands lately. It's quite a long-term calculation, so it might be few years until the results show themselves...about 5 years to be exact, for the full thing to take place.
Start
Close to the 2008 presidential elections (somewhere between July and September), a bubble that will have been forming in the stock market will burst, sending the economy into a bit of a decline. The Bush administration, having redeemed itself a bit, in terms of economics, will pour a bunch of money into subsidies in order to keep things afloat. Because of this decline, a highly undecided population will completely lose faith in Republicans and elect a Democrat as their president. That president will be faced with the challenge of getting the market back to a natural pace, thus not needing subsidies. This will take a while. In the meantime, whatever new plans of socialization and reform that the new president ran his campaign on will have gone down the drain because of our tax dollars being used to boost the economy. The public will forget about the fact that the economic trouble began under the previous president, only focussing on the fact that this president couldn't bring us out of it and make good on his campaign promises, and consider his election a mistake and he will only serve one term.
End
We'll get a good feel for how on I am in 2008...this should be fun. Stay tuned!
Start
Close to the 2008 presidential elections (somewhere between July and September), a bubble that will have been forming in the stock market will burst, sending the economy into a bit of a decline. The Bush administration, having redeemed itself a bit, in terms of economics, will pour a bunch of money into subsidies in order to keep things afloat. Because of this decline, a highly undecided population will completely lose faith in Republicans and elect a Democrat as their president. That president will be faced with the challenge of getting the market back to a natural pace, thus not needing subsidies. This will take a while. In the meantime, whatever new plans of socialization and reform that the new president ran his campaign on will have gone down the drain because of our tax dollars being used to boost the economy. The public will forget about the fact that the economic trouble began under the previous president, only focussing on the fact that this president couldn't bring us out of it and make good on his campaign promises, and consider his election a mistake and he will only serve one term.
End
We'll get a good feel for how on I am in 2008...this should be fun. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Time for some news... A break from Cuba
I'll get back to posting about my trip to Cuba sometime soon. I've been getting caught up on society in the last 10 days since I got back from my month long time away. So...
The US along with British officials is fining British Airways for price-gouging. 121mPounds by the UK and $300mil from the US. These fines are going to accompany a class-action lawsuit that will be filed by millions of British customers. Apparently Virgin and BA colluded on this deal but Virgin pulled out and tattled on BA which is what led to this whole thing. The main thing was over how much they were making the customers make-up for the rising cost of oil...and here it is...is it at all possible that US oil companies might be doing the same thing? Of course it's possible, but would the US ever fine its own bread and butter?
The British military released a study that it conducted on the effects of mental trauma on its veterans of the most recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The results show that there is severe effects seen in family breakdowns, alcholism, and mental health problems. Isn't that amazing...somehow the British can manage to admit that war scars people but we, with many many more fucked up soldiers returning home are offering little assistance oreven recognizing the fact that they are indeed messed up. Oh, I know...US wars are about justice...wars like that don't mess people up. DENY DENY DENY. That's they way of our government...until of course enough evidence builds and then they slowly investigate.
Only weeks before Congress goes on a small break, they pass a bill that allows warrantless wire tapping and monitoring of international phone calls and emails. I just made a friend in Cuba who i've been keeping touch with...there's part of me that wants to say some shit that gets those fuckers knocking on my door.
Now, speaking of Congress going on a break. How many people do you know that get to take a month off of work without a huge blow to their pocketbook? I certainly don't know many. With that said, until Congress starts making conditions so that the people they represent get at least a month off without fear of financial ruin, I better see some town hall meetings going on every damn night while those assholes aren't doing their job in Washington.
One last good one...Since the beginning of the war the US military has lost at least 190,000 weapons and more than half of the supplies that were supposed to go the training the Iraqi military since they began their war in 2003. During this time they were saying that the sudden increase in armed insurgents must be because Iran is funding them. Now, I'm not saying that Iran is innocent but I have a funny feeling that we may have been paying to have our own soldiers shot at. Isn't that fun!
The US along with British officials is fining British Airways for price-gouging. 121mPounds by the UK and $300mil from the US. These fines are going to accompany a class-action lawsuit that will be filed by millions of British customers. Apparently Virgin and BA colluded on this deal but Virgin pulled out and tattled on BA which is what led to this whole thing. The main thing was over how much they were making the customers make-up for the rising cost of oil...and here it is...is it at all possible that US oil companies might be doing the same thing? Of course it's possible, but would the US ever fine its own bread and butter?
The British military released a study that it conducted on the effects of mental trauma on its veterans of the most recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The results show that there is severe effects seen in family breakdowns, alcholism, and mental health problems. Isn't that amazing...somehow the British can manage to admit that war scars people but we, with many many more fucked up soldiers returning home are offering little assistance oreven recognizing the fact that they are indeed messed up. Oh, I know...US wars are about justice...wars like that don't mess people up. DENY DENY DENY. That's they way of our government...until of course enough evidence builds and then they slowly investigate.
Only weeks before Congress goes on a small break, they pass a bill that allows warrantless wire tapping and monitoring of international phone calls and emails. I just made a friend in Cuba who i've been keeping touch with...there's part of me that wants to say some shit that gets those fuckers knocking on my door.
Now, speaking of Congress going on a break. How many people do you know that get to take a month off of work without a huge blow to their pocketbook? I certainly don't know many. With that said, until Congress starts making conditions so that the people they represent get at least a month off without fear of financial ruin, I better see some town hall meetings going on every damn night while those assholes aren't doing their job in Washington.
One last good one...Since the beginning of the war the US military has lost at least 190,000 weapons and more than half of the supplies that were supposed to go the training the Iraqi military since they began their war in 2003. During this time they were saying that the sudden increase in armed insurgents must be because Iran is funding them. Now, I'm not saying that Iran is innocent but I have a funny feeling that we may have been paying to have our own soldiers shot at. Isn't that fun!
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Tales of a Commie (Part 2) - Havana round 1
I fell asleep on the plane but woke up just in time to see us approaching Cuba from the Gulf of Mexico. I saw a small bit of shoreline before it was completely engulfed by costal fog. It reminded me of Santa Cruz. As we were coming in for the landing I felt less safe than I normally feel on airplanes. As far as I can guess this comes from my understanding of Cuba up to this point as a 3rd world country whose technology is not as good as in my country. The way the air-conditioning on the plane spewed out steam didn’t help with my lack of faith in the Cubana airplane. I realized that I was going to need to drop my previous notions of Cuba in order to fully experience it – that I couldn’t learn with whatever blinders I may have had on prior to this.
We landed in Havana sometime in the late morning. At this point I’m thoroughly excited because this is where my learning begins not to mention the fact that after all the sleepless nights and work we’ve done, the thought of getting to step foot on Cuban soil (officially breaking the blockade) was finally becoming a reality. I’m a staying at a church in a working class neighborhood of Havana with people from our group that are mostly in their upper 40’s or older. There are only two other guys that are close to my age. The reason I chose this place is because I figured I could observe downtown Havana any time I wanted by taking a cab there, so staying in the place close to downtown didn’t make much sense. A neighborhood like this I could only observe if I was staying in it…it’s definitely not one of the tourist areas.
On the way in to Havana from the airport I was expecting conditions to be like most of what I’ve seen in Mexico. Nothing was as I expected it. The scenery was amazing…I had never seen a tropical place before. But there was so much more. All around I see power lines and power sub-stations nearly identical to the ones we have in the US. This place isn’t traditional 3rd world. It’s developed (from a physical standpoint) to the best of its ability, which isn’t far off from most of the US. One major difference is the buildings. All of the buildings are old looking. Most of them look pretty dilapidated but in that, they aren’t gross like the housing projects in US inner cities. They maintain a certain respectability that I can’t really explain with words. I think it’s because they weren’t dumps…instead of being run-down they were just quaint. From the condition of everything, it made me wonder what it would be like if they were able to have enough money to keep everything fixed up. Is that one of their values or would they prefer to spend their time doing more meaningful things as long as the basic purpose of the buildings (waterproof shelter) was being fulfilled?
After dinner at Luyano (the church I’m staying at) I had a chance to look around the neighborhood before we left for our first cultural event. On almost every doorstep family members were hanging out with each other and their neighbors. In the middle of the streets groups of kids were playing soccer or rolling down the hills on makeshift skateboards. The older people mostly just hang out in their doorways, but the younger people, both kids and adults, will wave or say something in Spanish that sounds like a kind greeting. On the way to the William Carey Baptist Church for our first ‘cultural event’ I noticed that the whole city was full of people just hanging out and playing. The only hostility I sense is in the drivers – there’s a lot of honking, which I would later find out is how they drive courteously…they honk when passing people or entering certain types of intersections to let people know they’re there…that way they don’t wreck. All over the place there were people on bicycles. Most of them had more than one person though. On one, there was a mom with a kid in her lap who was sitting in front of the dad who was peddling.
The William Carey Center is another one of the churches that people from our group are staying at. It’s only two blocks from the main downtown tourist area. In their courtyard they had chairs and a stage set up that they pulled from their indoor sanctuary. The first act was some musical things – nothing all that great. The best part was the dancing. They are part of the best dance group in Cuba. They consisted of boys and girls anywhere from 10 to 18 who have obviously put a great deal of time practicing their dances to the point where they were perfect. The dancers were all perfectly in sync with each other. Just when we thought it was done every single one of the dancers came back out. They were all up and down the aisles and filling the stage. At first it was a very high-energy planned dance. Eventually it turned into more of an improv dance. Their body language and enthusiasm for the stuff they were doing is how I came to the conclusion that it was improv. There was a designated leader and what that person did the others followed…and they followed very well. When they finally left stage to their dressing room you could hear, over our rowdy applause, their own applause and excitement. The whole atmosphere was enough to make even a cynic like me damn near cry. This is the first time that it occurs to me that their culture transcends the material problems the people face. Their culture is so rich that the poverty they experience, in comparison to the wealth of Americans and other wealthy nations, is of very little importance. This is one of the first things to know in understanding Cuba. And here’s another thing…the training that these kids got in dance is free because their government wants to support the cultural arts.
The following morning is our tour of La Habana Vieja (Old Havana). This is one of the few areas of Havana that is in the process of restoring their old buildings for a prettier look. One thing that should be noted here is that when the buildings are restored the families who have lived in them still get to live there. It’s not like typical gentrification you see in the US. The tour guide gives us a brief history of the old garrisons that still occupy some of the city and history of the struggle from colonial times that the people of Cuba have come through to get to where they are today. There is a lot to see in Habana Vieja. Along every street there are locals who make themselves into photo-ops. Old women smoking cigars and dressed in extravagant clothing will let you take their picture for a few pesos. The people of the community still hang out and don’t seem to mind all of the tourists.
Later in the day we make a visit to the ‘120 year old club’. This is a group started by doctors who figured out a life style which they believe has the potential to keep them alive and healthy to at least 120 years of age. I personally wouldn’t want to live that long, but more power to ‘em for trying.
Instead of going back to Luyano I decide to stay in downtown Havana. For hours I walk around looking at the shops and people. It is weird not being able to communicate with people. Even though there are hundreds of people around me there’s a weird sense of loneliness in it. At one point a Cuban from one store spoke English to me. That catches me off guard so I buy ice-cream from him.
A group of us decide to walk to a hotel where there is a restaurant and bar on the roof with live music. It’s about a 5k walk through very urban feeling neighborhoods. It was a change of scenery to see real Havana locals hanging out in their own bars, not the tourist ones. On one corner there is a group of men surrounding a table in the middle of the street where they’re playing dominoes under a streetlamp. When we get to the hotel there is a guy making sure that no Cubans are coming in…it’s a law that unless working at tourist hotels, Cubans aren’t allowed in. My first reaction is that it isn’t all that nice that the people don’t get to go into the nicer places in their neighborhoods, but then again, I don’t go to hotels in my town. Later on I ask someone about that law. When tourism was pretty new to Cuba men from foreign countries would come over to Cuba and bring young Cubans up to their rooms to have their way with them. The Cuban government began pressing charges against these tourists, which didn’t go over too well with those folks countries of origin. Eventually this law was passed as a protective measure for the Cuban people. This is another thing to understand about Cuban society… most of the laws they pass are protective…not like the US where we need to pass a law for every little thing all the way down to how tinted your windows on your car can be.
On the way back to Luyano, Dan (one of the IFCO staff people my age) and I shared a cab. Dan speaks pretty fluent Spanish but since Luyano isn’t in Havana proper the driver doesn’t know where it is. He takes us a long way around before he gets close and stops to ask for directions. At this point I think that the place we’re staying is pretty run down. But then he drives us through a part of town that is really poor looking. All of the roads off of the main street didn’t have streetlamps. They didn’t even looked like they were paved all that well. Even without that though the people were still hanging out with each other. It’s about 11 at night and kids are still playing hopscotch and the adults are all playing dominoes or talking. At about midnight and a half I’m still sitting outside with some of the folks I’m staying with. All over you hear loud music and entire families still awake, just hanging out. Now I’m wondering why the kids don’t have bedtimes and why no one seems to work during the day.
We landed in Havana sometime in the late morning. At this point I’m thoroughly excited because this is where my learning begins not to mention the fact that after all the sleepless nights and work we’ve done, the thought of getting to step foot on Cuban soil (officially breaking the blockade) was finally becoming a reality. I’m a staying at a church in a working class neighborhood of Havana with people from our group that are mostly in their upper 40’s or older. There are only two other guys that are close to my age. The reason I chose this place is because I figured I could observe downtown Havana any time I wanted by taking a cab there, so staying in the place close to downtown didn’t make much sense. A neighborhood like this I could only observe if I was staying in it…it’s definitely not one of the tourist areas.
On the way in to Havana from the airport I was expecting conditions to be like most of what I’ve seen in Mexico. Nothing was as I expected it. The scenery was amazing…I had never seen a tropical place before. But there was so much more. All around I see power lines and power sub-stations nearly identical to the ones we have in the US. This place isn’t traditional 3rd world. It’s developed (from a physical standpoint) to the best of its ability, which isn’t far off from most of the US. One major difference is the buildings. All of the buildings are old looking. Most of them look pretty dilapidated but in that, they aren’t gross like the housing projects in US inner cities. They maintain a certain respectability that I can’t really explain with words. I think it’s because they weren’t dumps…instead of being run-down they were just quaint. From the condition of everything, it made me wonder what it would be like if they were able to have enough money to keep everything fixed up. Is that one of their values or would they prefer to spend their time doing more meaningful things as long as the basic purpose of the buildings (waterproof shelter) was being fulfilled?
After dinner at Luyano (the church I’m staying at) I had a chance to look around the neighborhood before we left for our first cultural event. On almost every doorstep family members were hanging out with each other and their neighbors. In the middle of the streets groups of kids were playing soccer or rolling down the hills on makeshift skateboards. The older people mostly just hang out in their doorways, but the younger people, both kids and adults, will wave or say something in Spanish that sounds like a kind greeting. On the way to the William Carey Baptist Church for our first ‘cultural event’ I noticed that the whole city was full of people just hanging out and playing. The only hostility I sense is in the drivers – there’s a lot of honking, which I would later find out is how they drive courteously…they honk when passing people or entering certain types of intersections to let people know they’re there…that way they don’t wreck. All over the place there were people on bicycles. Most of them had more than one person though. On one, there was a mom with a kid in her lap who was sitting in front of the dad who was peddling.
The William Carey Center is another one of the churches that people from our group are staying at. It’s only two blocks from the main downtown tourist area. In their courtyard they had chairs and a stage set up that they pulled from their indoor sanctuary. The first act was some musical things – nothing all that great. The best part was the dancing. They are part of the best dance group in Cuba. They consisted of boys and girls anywhere from 10 to 18 who have obviously put a great deal of time practicing their dances to the point where they were perfect. The dancers were all perfectly in sync with each other. Just when we thought it was done every single one of the dancers came back out. They were all up and down the aisles and filling the stage. At first it was a very high-energy planned dance. Eventually it turned into more of an improv dance. Their body language and enthusiasm for the stuff they were doing is how I came to the conclusion that it was improv. There was a designated leader and what that person did the others followed…and they followed very well. When they finally left stage to their dressing room you could hear, over our rowdy applause, their own applause and excitement. The whole atmosphere was enough to make even a cynic like me damn near cry. This is the first time that it occurs to me that their culture transcends the material problems the people face. Their culture is so rich that the poverty they experience, in comparison to the wealth of Americans and other wealthy nations, is of very little importance. This is one of the first things to know in understanding Cuba. And here’s another thing…the training that these kids got in dance is free because their government wants to support the cultural arts.
The following morning is our tour of La Habana Vieja (Old Havana). This is one of the few areas of Havana that is in the process of restoring their old buildings for a prettier look. One thing that should be noted here is that when the buildings are restored the families who have lived in them still get to live there. It’s not like typical gentrification you see in the US. The tour guide gives us a brief history of the old garrisons that still occupy some of the city and history of the struggle from colonial times that the people of Cuba have come through to get to where they are today. There is a lot to see in Habana Vieja. Along every street there are locals who make themselves into photo-ops. Old women smoking cigars and dressed in extravagant clothing will let you take their picture for a few pesos. The people of the community still hang out and don’t seem to mind all of the tourists.
Later in the day we make a visit to the ‘120 year old club’. This is a group started by doctors who figured out a life style which they believe has the potential to keep them alive and healthy to at least 120 years of age. I personally wouldn’t want to live that long, but more power to ‘em for trying.
Instead of going back to Luyano I decide to stay in downtown Havana. For hours I walk around looking at the shops and people. It is weird not being able to communicate with people. Even though there are hundreds of people around me there’s a weird sense of loneliness in it. At one point a Cuban from one store spoke English to me. That catches me off guard so I buy ice-cream from him.
A group of us decide to walk to a hotel where there is a restaurant and bar on the roof with live music. It’s about a 5k walk through very urban feeling neighborhoods. It was a change of scenery to see real Havana locals hanging out in their own bars, not the tourist ones. On one corner there is a group of men surrounding a table in the middle of the street where they’re playing dominoes under a streetlamp. When we get to the hotel there is a guy making sure that no Cubans are coming in…it’s a law that unless working at tourist hotels, Cubans aren’t allowed in. My first reaction is that it isn’t all that nice that the people don’t get to go into the nicer places in their neighborhoods, but then again, I don’t go to hotels in my town. Later on I ask someone about that law. When tourism was pretty new to Cuba men from foreign countries would come over to Cuba and bring young Cubans up to their rooms to have their way with them. The Cuban government began pressing charges against these tourists, which didn’t go over too well with those folks countries of origin. Eventually this law was passed as a protective measure for the Cuban people. This is another thing to understand about Cuban society… most of the laws they pass are protective…not like the US where we need to pass a law for every little thing all the way down to how tinted your windows on your car can be.
On the way back to Luyano, Dan (one of the IFCO staff people my age) and I shared a cab. Dan speaks pretty fluent Spanish but since Luyano isn’t in Havana proper the driver doesn’t know where it is. He takes us a long way around before he gets close and stops to ask for directions. At this point I think that the place we’re staying is pretty run down. But then he drives us through a part of town that is really poor looking. All of the roads off of the main street didn’t have streetlamps. They didn’t even looked like they were paved all that well. Even without that though the people were still hanging out with each other. It’s about 11 at night and kids are still playing hopscotch and the adults are all playing dominoes or talking. At about midnight and a half I’m still sitting outside with some of the folks I’m staying with. All over you hear loud music and entire families still awake, just hanging out. Now I’m wondering why the kids don’t have bedtimes and why no one seems to work during the day.
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