So, I'm in this mood right now. Kind of a nostalgic thing. It's because I packed up most of my belongings into my car to take to my dad's house to store for the next year...since I wont be needing them. I guess I don't really need them anyway, considering I never use them...but books and things, you can't let those go.
Ok, that was a tangent.
There are things that I wish I could be, but am not. I wish I were a red head. I heard once that by 2050 there will be no fully redheaded people -- I'm talking genetically. I'm attracted to red-head chics, so it would be great to meet up with one and carry on the genes if I were a red head too.
I also wish I was black. Now, I don't try to act like a stereotypical black person. I don't listen to gansta rap either. But, I'm a pretty smart guy and I think it would be cool to be a smart black guy that makes something of himself. To break the mold. That's not to say that there aren't successful black men, in fact there are tons, but they aren't the majority or even the common perception of what black men are.
Being a woman would be pretty cool too. Well, with the exception of the warewolf effect that goes in cycles with the moon...or however that menstruation stuff works. Mostly though, for the same reason as I'd like to be a black dude. I'd break the "glass ceiling" and all that fun stuff -- but not like Hilary Clinton, I'd do it like a gentleman would.
There is the rare occasion that I wish I were a cancer patient. Only on my conditions though. I would go to the hospital and they would say that I only have a few months to live. I'd go do some things, break some bones, do a shit load of blow, and all kinds of other stuff. But, when I was finally too weak to be out of bed I would be laying in a hospital. President Bush would grant my last wish of meeting him...probably because of some guilt that he feels about killing all those boys and girls in Iraq. I'd pretend that I was too weak to talk loudly but that I had something really important to say. He'd lean in. Then, without warning I'd slap the shit out of him. Not only would that be awesome, but it would be cool to see a bunch of Secret Service agents beat up a bed ridden, cancer patient.
It's kind of a bummer being a normal white dude. I mean, sure there's the whole 'greater ability to succeed' thing. But, everything is pretty much handed to you. I didn't grow up in a wealthy family, barely even middle class. But, I go places and have done some crazy shit...but I'm just a white guy so who really cares.
If only I could be a red headed, black hermaphodite who gets diagnosed with terminal cancer -- oh how glorious it would be!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Nice.
This is like Jack Handy on steroids or something.
you, my dear boy, are a little ridiculous.
but you would be smokin hot if you were a redhead. because all redheads are hot.
sometimes I think you might be the boy version of me. (I also wish I were a redhead, and occasionally am, superficially) but then you say things like "sometimes I wish I were a terminal cancer patient, black woman" and then I think, naw, he's the boy version of a-little-bit-odd.
hey, that's a somewhat persecuted minority! rejoice!
god you are fucked in the head.
oh and before you move away for good lets make out just one more time for old times sake.
and yes, of course when we cuddle you can be the little spoon.
Post a Comment